American Voters: A Bunch of Morons

Friday, July 25, 2008 by Amy

No, this has nothing to do with Obama's visit to Afghanistan or John McCain calling the Czech Republic Czechoslovakia three times. This is about important stuff.

Will got voted off SYTYCD. And I am officially pissed.

Are you kidding me? He is so insanely talented that it makes me sick. And now the finale is not going to be as good because he's not in it. Plus, Mark has to feel like an absolute tool because what do you say to that? "Yeah, your dancing is about ten million times better than mine but I did get the whole state of Hawaii to vote for me, so, about that..."? Everyone knew that Will was the best dancer on the show. Plus, as evidenced by the video, he is the only guy in America who can dance that stunningly while wearing a pair of never-nudes (Tobias is turning green with envy).

Unbelievable. Come on people.

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Yes, I'm a Bookworm

Thursday, July 17, 2008 by Amy

So, the other day, I was in Smith's Marketplace and I saw a kid trailing behind his mom's cart, walking unsteadily down the cereal aisle. Why? Because he had his nose about two inches away from the pages of the book he was trying to read as he walked. I waited to see his mom turn to go down another aisle. He stopped in a daze, not even attempting to keep up with her. Two seconds later, she doubled back and impatiently pulled him along. I had to laugh. It really took me back.

I was that kid.

Let's be honest. I was a geek. I read anything and everything I could get my hands on, regardless of my comprehension level or age appropriateness of the material (which may have explained why my mom found me reading "Gone With The Wind" in second grade and then had to explain to me what the Civil War was). Every night, I would sneak books into bed with a flashlight. I remember loving to see the sun rise as I finished the last page of whatever it was I was reading that day. My whole childhood was shaped by the books I read, from "Babysitters Club" to "Brave New World." I was that same kid, driving my mom nuts because I wouldn't put the book down for long enough to keep up with her.

Which is why I'm loving the adult reincarnation of my love for books: The Kellie Bacon Book Club (it's called that because we all know each other through Kellie... get it? Kevin Bacon, Kellie Bacon... I thought it would be funny). Anyway, I can't say enough about how much I love my book club. All of the girls in it are smart, funny, successful, insightful, insane. I used to think joining a book club was a boring mom thing to do. Now that I see all of the crazy stuff that women actually talk about at book club, I realize that this is the hip place to be.

I'm also adding this Shelfari thing to my blog to show the books I'm reading or have read, both for book club and outside of book club. I always love recommendations from the people I like. And I'm going on a trip soon, which means that I want to take at least my full body weight in books (Jon told me I have to carry the backpack with the books-- I think it's his attempt at regulation). So, comment away and tell me about all the stuff I should be reading.

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Major Commitment

Monday, July 7, 2008 by Amy

It's been two years since I got married and, as of several days ago, I had yet to change all of my legal documentation from "Spittler" to "Shaffer." I don't know entirely why. Maybe it was a combination of fierce loyalty to the Spittler name that was infused with years of elementary school suffering (just mix anything closely resembling the word spit with any child between the ages of 5-9 and imagine all the possibilities). Maybe it was the sense of identity that came from being one of only two "Amy Spittler's" in the whole world (okay, yes, I googled myself. You may say it's narcissistic but I found out that the only other person in the whole world with my name is a collegiate swimmer in Alaska. Sounds like the beginning to the next Wes Anderson movie, right? We should become friends and go on a Yukon train trip and see all the wacky ways that we... never mind.) Or maybe it's because I'm just lazy and didn't want to hassle with all that annoying paperwork.

Whatever it was, it was working pretty well for me. I pretty much had everything under control, remembering that I was Amy Shaffer at church and the gym and Amy Spittler at the pharmacy and the bank, Amy Spittler on my work email and Amy Shaffer on my gmail. I was actually rather proud of my mental juggling.

Until last Wednesday.

That's the day that I realized that I had booked my plane ticket for our upcoming trip in my married name and that my passport was still in my maiden name. At first, I told myself not to be too worried. But then I called the airline and they said there was no possible way I would be allowed on the plane if my ticket name and passport name didn't match. So, the last few days have been a blur of Social Security office lines and expedited passport forms. And $135 later, I am now officially Amy Elizabeth Shaffer. And I'll have a brand spanking new passport with none of the cool stamps I had accumulated over the last several years (yes, I was the annoying person who still asked for the stamps even though they don't really do that anymore).

No more hedging my bets, Jon. I'm in this for life now.

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