Right about now, I can't decide which I feel worse about: the state of my house or the state of my blog. But where fixing one of those things involves cleaning supplies and actual work, I think I'll start with the blog.

Nothing like posting pictures from a trip you got back from almost a month ago. But I'm okay with that. Almost like I'm okay with my face in this picture.




Remind me never to try to look cool in pictures again.

So, let's get on to some of the better ones.

Our trip was so much fun. There's nothing like travel to remind you that there's nothing better than hanging out with your husband every day with no responsibilities. You can tell from Jon's increasingly awesome hair that we really took that "no responsibilities" thing seriously.




And yes, he does love Haribo. We take our gummy candies as seriously as we take our responsibilities.


Our trip consisted of stops in Budapest, Prague, Krakow, Warsaw, Gdansk, Sopot and Gdynia (with an afternoon in a lovably dirty little coal town called Lodz thrown in for good measure). We had so much fun everywhere we went that it is kind of hard to say which was our favorite. But here are some of the things we discovered.




Never-nudes and stretched pennies are phenomenons that cross both borders and cultures.







You can stay in one of the nicest hotels ever one night (yes, there were TWO shower heads for each person-- wrap your mind around that)....







And stay across from an internment camp the next night. Thanks for nothing, Priceline Europe.






Thousand Island dressing is one thing. But Europeans have harnessed the power of Seven Thousand Island. No wonder the euro is kicking our trash.







The place to look for a Communism museum is sandwiched between the biggest McDonald's I've ever seen and a casino. Karma's a real b****.






Eastern Europeans try to be politically aware when arranging their touristy folk art.







There's nothing better than embroidered dog pictures. Unless it's embroidered dog pictures dressed in colonial military garb on pillows. Then you've really got me.






There is something about Eastern European dudes and their chess.






This guy had to be my favorite, though. He's just chilling. But his customer service never falters.




But, anyway, here are some of the pictures we took when we weren't acting like total idiots.








































































































Okay, so I make a promise to be better with my blog. Check back in the next few days for my rundown on this season's most interesting music releases, reasons why my life is insane and my real thoughts on Sarah Palin. I'll try to keep it interesting.

So, we're back. And we had so much fun. And I am jet-lagged out of my mind.

So, while I get my head straight enough to sort through our approximately 4.5 billion pictures and make a proper blog post, here's a little nugget from how we spent our day yesterday. Let me just say that, if you have to be stuck in an airport, Copenhagen is the one to be stuck in. It's pretty fancy (Who doesn't need access to a Gucci store, Burberry store, Hermes store and a Ferrari dealership on the way to their connecting gate?) It's also pretty funny.




Yes, this is a real store. But isn't it also a state of mind? I like to think that I'm always... Soaked in Luxury.




But you know you've been a little too Soaked in Luxury when it comes to starving children and all you can come up with is "Who Cares?"




My favorite marketing message from the Danes, though, had to be this one for Sterling Airlines that we found on the baggage carts. I love people with a little self confidence.


I'll be back soon with more wild and zany moments from Eastern Europe (I promise I won't make you look at all the pictures. I'm saving up that kind of torture for when we have a kid). As much fun as it was, though, we missed you all and we're glad to be back.

So, this weekend I was in Phoenix for business. On Sunday night, I was sitting on a delayed plane, trying to get home. Because we'd been sitting there for a while, they'd turned off all the lights except for people's reading lights, no doubt hoping to trick all of us into falling asleep rather than being annoyed that we were late. Well, this one four year-old was having none of it. The plane is totally quiet and he starts yelling, as only a four year-old can:

"I like big BUTTS and I cannot lie! You other brothers can't deny!"

Yes. He started singing "Baby Got Back." And he did not stop. His lyrical memory was impressive. I had to kind of respect his parents: Sir Mix-a-Lot should be a part of every young child's life.


On a similar note, Jon and I will be gone for the next couple of weeks, hopefully encountering many other such children in our travels. If I get a chance, I'll post some pictures as we go. See you all soon!

It's been two years since I got married and, as of several days ago, I had yet to change all of my legal documentation from "Spittler" to "Shaffer." I don't know entirely why. Maybe it was a combination of fierce loyalty to the Spittler name that was infused with years of elementary school suffering (just mix anything closely resembling the word spit with any child between the ages of 5-9 and imagine all the possibilities). Maybe it was the sense of identity that came from being one of only two "Amy Spittler's" in the whole world (okay, yes, I googled myself. You may say it's narcissistic but I found out that the only other person in the whole world with my name is a collegiate swimmer in Alaska. Sounds like the beginning to the next Wes Anderson movie, right? We should become friends and go on a Yukon train trip and see all the wacky ways that we... never mind.) Or maybe it's because I'm just lazy and didn't want to hassle with all that annoying paperwork.

Whatever it was, it was working pretty well for me. I pretty much had everything under control, remembering that I was Amy Shaffer at church and the gym and Amy Spittler at the pharmacy and the bank, Amy Spittler on my work email and Amy Shaffer on my gmail. I was actually rather proud of my mental juggling.

Until last Wednesday.

That's the day that I realized that I had booked my plane ticket for our upcoming trip in my married name and that my passport was still in my maiden name. At first, I told myself not to be too worried. But then I called the airline and they said there was no possible way I would be allowed on the plane if my ticket name and passport name didn't match. So, the last few days have been a blur of Social Security office lines and expedited passport forms. And $135 later, I am now officially Amy Elizabeth Shaffer. And I'll have a brand spanking new passport with none of the cool stamps I had accumulated over the last several years (yes, I was the annoying person who still asked for the stamps even though they don't really do that anymore).

No more hedging my bets, Jon. I'm in this for life now.

So, apparently this very persuasive campaign from the Polish Tourism Board worked 'cause we're going to Poland!

Jon and I have been thinking about doing this for a while. Amidst all of our joking about our mission courtship (it's just jokes, relax), we never got to serve in the same places. I am so unbelievably excited to go. I love traveling more than anything. Unfortunately, I also get somewhat freaked out by money (and the lack thereof) and those things fairly regularly clash, especially with airfare being as expensive as it is now and me accepting the idea that I have to be a responsible adult. But at some point we realized that, while still being sensible, you have to just go for it and do stuff every now and then because the experiences and memories are the whole point of life.

So here's the itinerary for our little Eastern European adventure: we're going to fly into Budapest on Aug.5, spend a few days there, then go to Prague. We'll be in Prague for three days and then we'll head up to Krakow and then to Warsaw, stopping along the way in some of the smaller cities that we served in. Then we'll end the trip in Gdansk/Sopot/Gdynia, the beautiful tricities area of Poland that is right on the coast of the Baltic Sea. Then we'll fly out of the Gdansk airport on Aug. 19.

July is going to feel like a really long month to wait.



P.S. -- I could find out the actual translation of the French on the poster, but I'd rather have all of you give me suggestions of what you think it should say. You know, like, "Come Lay Some Pipe in Poland," or "Come Expand Your Horizons with these Fancy Tools I'm Holding." I know you can come up with some good ones.

Tired beyond all belief. Arms and legs heavier than you remember them. Lingering impaired judgment.

This weekend was fun.

Jon and I, Kristin and Craig and Emily, Tim and Claire made St. George our tranny nanny this weekend. We were all over it. From pedicures to golf to insane hikes, we were doing it all.

Let's start at Asia Nails.



Now, the name of the place says something before you even walk in the door. Once you're inside, Asia Nails does not disappoint. Great florescent light displays, a flashing lights/music/sound-animated bonsai Ewok village behind the register, a masterful Japanese water scene on the wall behind about 50 pedicure stations... this is where the real magic happens.




Imagine our disappointment when our nail technician turned out not to be Edison (the Asian dude with the over-exaggerated accent who thought it was the funniest joke ever to ask Emily about nine times whether her baby was for sale) but rather this girl.





But she was great. Not only did she do a totally passable job on our pedicures but she also told us about her domestic bliss with her boyfriend of seven years who, and I quote, "always knows exactly what flavor of energy drink she wants." She also tried to make us really jealous by telling us that he brought her a Diet Pepsi at work the other day held by a stuffed koala bear. She was really loading it on. Another funny moment of the pedicure? Realizing that I had chosen a nail color called Fuzzy Navel. Really? Someone needs to fire that nail polish namer. He is really off the rails.






Next, let's move to the pool. If I could sit by the pool and read a book all day, I would be happy. But if you could also toss in a totally adorable baby who went swimming for the first time, I'm totally sold.



Also, we all discovered that we are, in fact, now lame grown-ups who, rather than all jumping in the pool later that night, would rather sit around the edge and put our toes in. Maybe we really do need some alcohol. It was pretty fun, though.





Last stop, Zion's. I love this place. Claire was so cute in her little back-pack. Jon put on three layers of sunscreen (he kind of missed his whole nose-cheeks- ears area the day before). And we all went up the Emerald Pools trail.




Later, Kristin, Craig and I decided to do Angel's Landing which is, in Kristin's words, "a little messed up." But it was all worth it when we hauled ourselves up to the very top and then spent a half an hour up there enjoying the insane views and talking to this young German couple who were there vacationing. We did teach them the word "skanky." It was kind of a proud moment for me.







Anyway, it was a really fun little trip. And now I'm back at work and I'm totally trashed. It's the circle of life.